 ARCHIVES
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Friday, November 08, 2002
When I Swear, You Know It's BAD
After a hard day of school and then working for 5 hours, I come home to this: A manila envelope labelled "Return to Sender". I sent out this envelope last week, it conatined my application for the Canadian Merit Scholarship which was due Monday November 4th. Today is the 8th. It isn't fucking funny. I put my fucking heart and soul into this fucking application and it gets sent back to me because I didn't put enough fucking postage on it. This scholarship pretty much gave you full tuition and I think that I had a pretty damn good chance at it. If you had seen the 8 pages that were in there, you'd hand over the fucking $50 000. I'm such a good kid! Why is this happening? I thought I could handle this "what ever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" stuff, but that's all bullshit! If it doesn't kill you, it sure as hell hurts! I haven't said "It isn't fair" in quite some time because I thought I was more mature than to whine like that. I was wrong. This isn't fucking fair! *sigh* All I wanted was a fair chance at showing people that I deserved to win some money so I could put it towards my education. I wanted to help my parents. I wanted to make sure they didn't have to worry about paying for my schooling because I had worked hard enough and it would somehow pay off. All I wanted was to show my parents that I could. I just wanted to show myself I could. And there it is, the fucking application sitting on my kitchen table. |
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