Sunday, March 29, 2009
I Am So Tired Of
Working on Saturdays.
My flat feet.
Losing 3.5 hours in transit every work day.
Being celibate (and lacking all sorts of physical affection).
My short hair.
Business casual wear at the office. (I miss my jeans.)
My dad's boyfriend-themed talks.
Being the girl guys talk to after they just got out of a long term relationship.
Good, And Not So Good
The office crush is crushing back, which is both a good thing and a not so good thing. Good, for obvious reasons I should think - unrequited crushing is cool, but when it's reciprocated it's more exciting! - and I do look forward to the messages and late night conversations... But it's not so good for very important reasons. I don't particularly like drama, despite the fact that I often find myself wrapped up in it. And by engaging in anything with Office Guy I am most surely putting myself in a potentially awkward situation.
Though the office is large and filled with 60-some people, we do tend to see and/or have lunch together almost every day. He's also part of the I.T. Thursday night gang and I in no way want to jeopardize my fun-loving relationships with the rest of the I.T. guys by messing around with one of their clan. And when he comes over to my desk to say hello or whatnot, I'm never quite sure what kinds of conversations to have with him because my partner is sitting RIGHT THERE and I most definitely do not want to give her, or anyone else within earshot, any ideas as to the fact that he and I talk at nights, nevermind what it is that we talk about.
Good, I suppose, because this could be fun. The office tension, the secret conversations, the possibility of an emotionless spring fling, the scandal! But not so good because I don't actually think we're compatible and he called me "cute". Twice. There were exclamation marks used, and enthusiasm is never a bad thing, but COME ON - what almost 25-year old wants to be called "cute"?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
When I woke up the next morning, it had healed. Like it was never there at all.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I was sealing an envelope the old school way today (ie: by licking it) and gave myself the teeniest, tiniest little papercut on my lip. Right where the lip meets the face. It stings to smile.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Winding Up And Then Down
Just when I thought things were going to calm down a bit, my life picked up around me and started swirling madly out of control. Looking back at a mere two weeks ago, I can't believe that I actually had the time to sit down and write a post every night for four days in a row - and write fairly regularly before and after that too. Unbelievable. I even had the time to go out after work and get a haircut! These days, I'm doing all that I can to keep up with my growing responsibilities and ever looming deadlines at work rather than worry about grooming myself (the bob, as you can imagine, has most definitely lost it's bob-y and feathery bang quality). I also expect to be spending lunches at my desk from now until the end of June in addition to working an extra half hour every evening. No joke.
Mildly exciting news to report:
- One of my BFFL (Best Friends For Life) called me from Scotland the other day!
- She was calling to congratulate me on a new position that I got at work!!
- ...I'M THE NEW SUSTAINABILITY COORDINATOR FOR MY OFFICE!!! YAAAHHHHH!!!!
- I had my first conference call (an hour and a half!) and that was pretty exciting.
- Training my new team (! I have a team !) on Saturdays is proving to be both wonderful and extremely taxing. I want to say that I'm looking forward to the end of training, but that just means the beginning of travel season, which means that I'll be living out of other cities and my desk at the office.
- I think that I have officially developed an office crush. He's not really my type at all I don't think (whatever that may be), but fairly good looking. He'll do for now.
- Spring celebrations this weekend came in the form of hip hop karaoke with Maestro Fresh Wes, a chocolate party and world food book launch! Followed by hippie and market goodness. And a parking ticket (damn!).
- And uh, remind me to tell you about eHarmony.
Every time a mildly exciting thing happens, I immediately think about how to spin it into a fabulous sounding story for y'all, but to be honest, most nights I'd rather spend doing anything but staring at a computer screen trying to think coherently, nevermind creatively. I'll take jazz radio and an early bedtime, thanks.
PS: Since I'm starting to sound like an oldie, I might as well start drawing attention to the fact that I officially hit my "mid-twenties" mark in five and a half weeks! I wonder what it takes to drop ten pounds in five weeks?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
After All Better Now
After a taxing first day of training at the office on Saturday (up at 7am, out the door at 7:30, at the office before 9am, left at 5pm... and colleagues that make me feel exhausted) the only things I wanted were yoga, a t-shirt and jeans, a good friend, and wings and beer.
After watching Mamma Mia (Meryl Streep version) the only thing that could wash that bad taste out of my mouth was a midnight viewing of 50 First Dates.
After my father sitting down to have a talk with me as to why I wasn't working harder at finding a boyfriend, the only thing I could bring myself to do (except for speeding myself to Waterloo) was lay down and watch the entire Jon & Kate + 8 marathon with a variety of comfort foods.
Friday, March 13, 2009
In addition to "chic", "trendy" and "cute", I also got other comments on my hair; like "traditional" and "Asian." I don't get it either. I think he was trying to call me a middle-aged Chinese woman. Someone also said to me, "Wow, that haircut makes you look a lot older. It's like you aged five years overnight."
That remark also came from the guy who once walked behind my desk, looked down to see what I was working on and suddenly said, "Wow, you have really stubby fingers."
He's a real gem, ain't he?
I officially bid goodbye to my social life last weekend (thank goodness it was a good one!) because tomorrow marks the first of five Saturdays that I spend at the office. I'm training our new team of Tour Leaders so that means I work six days a week starting now until mid-April. Despite the fact that yes, I'm working on a weekend, I really am rather excited. My partner in crime and I have been screening applications and doing interviews since the new year started and FINALLY, we are done hiring. I'm excited to have our new team all in one place tomorrow and honestly, I'm excited to teach them about this job, something that I've loved doing for years. The opportunity to train the new team is one of the main reasons I took this new position in the first place, so perhaps that might explain why I stayed at the office until 7pm tonight perfecting my session, why I brought things home with me to finish up, and why I'll be leaving the house tomorrow at 7:30am so I can get there early enough to set up.
I will sorely miss Saturday morning yoga though, but I will look forward to Sunday morning yoga instead.
During an office-wide meeting today, I had to restrain myself from leaping out of my chair and jumping onto the board room table, proclaiming, "I WANT TO BE THE GREEN CHAMPION IN THIS OFFICE!! I WANT TO TEACH PEOPLE ABOUT REUSING AND WASTING LESS AND RECYCLING AND COMPOSTIIING!! NO ONE IS MORE PERFECT FOR THAT POSITION THAN MEEE!!!" A new position is starting up and I want it. Can you tell?
Last night, like other Thursday nights, I hung out with the guys in the IT department, who are quickly becoming some of my favourite people to spend time with. We hang out, play Rock Band, get high, eat pizza/home-made pulled pork/dirty Chinese, drink beer, watch The Office and get home late so that I'm always tired the next day. I started going in the spirit of making friends and I'm super glad I did. The IT guys are, at the same time, the geekiest, the coolest, and the bestest.
I got super high last night because, for once, I didn't have a car so I wasn't driving home. But I ended up getting a little incoherent and taking public transit home alone in that state made for an interesting experience. I ended up having a text conversation with the guy who drove me to the subway station until 12:30am about things that go BZzzz...
Off to finish making employment packages for my new team and go over my presentation!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The hair! The hair! It was a resounding success!
Much to my surprise and relief, people at work really liked the new haircut. Someone even called it "chic" - to my utter disbelief, as I'm sure you can imagine. And then someone told me I looked like a Japanese doll and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Funny, this Japanese ...thing. I've been called a Japanese doll before (by whom, or why, I can't remember), I also had the nickname Geisha for a few years, and when I was in Spain and North Africa, people kept calling me "Japonais". Maybe in a past life...?
You know what I haven't done in a while? Narcissistically put up photos of myself! I suppose now is the time, given the new do and my growing (slooowly growing) fondness for it. You see where I was coming from with the melon helmet, right?
Yes, I realize I might have gone overboard with the bathroom glamour shots. This is only because this look is only one day post-stylist. I washed it tonight and goodness knows I'll never, ever get my hair to look like this - perfectly bob-y and bangs so feathery - ever, ever again.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Bob-y Bang Bang
Today I was feeling spontaneous so I called a salon that I'm starting to frequent and decided to go in for a haircut. I've been craving one for a while because what I had before was really starting to shag out. And then I was feeling adventurous and decided to tell my stylist to go for the "bob" look with bangs and now I'm a girl who just cut off all her hair and really wishes that she hadn't. I should really think my spontaneity through next time.
And I can't even blame the stylist because a) she's lovely, and b) I totally told her to do it. When I said, "Just even it out so it's kind of bob-y," I had no idea how short the back was. When she started taking inches off the front I realized I had forgotten that I had one of those slanty haircuts where it looks longer in the front and I immediately wished I could go back on the whole even-ing out thing because it needed to match the length in the back. But... I couldn't. So I sucked it up and just thought of it as 'cute'. I'm still trying to convince myself (especially after seeing the horrified looks on my family's faces).
If I was rail thin and/or a superstar with a team of styling professionals, I might be able to pull this off. But I'm not and I don't, so here I am trying to figure out what outfit and hair products will compliment and/or HIDE this helmet-head look/thing I've got going on for tomorrow at work. I really don't feel like responding to the "Oh! You got your hair cut!" conversations.
My inspiration was Katie Holmes with short hair like here and here , and I kiiind of came out of it looking like that, but less good. Oh who am I trying to kid - I look more like this, but less good:
Monday, March 09, 2009
Friday: A brief conversation with a boy whom I like(d?), and with whom a relationship will most likely/definitely never be possible nor compatible, about my current status as single. "Are you seeing anyone?" No. "Are you going on dates?" Not... really. It's been a while since anyone asked and I was taken aback by the fact that someone cared. Or maybe cared just enough to ask to see if there was any chance in the near future that I would be leaving him alone. Depending on their bent, people's curiosity about me being single can be flattering (i.e.: "I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend! You're fabulous!" - to which I respond, "What, fabulous people have to have significant others? I'm fabulous alone, thanks.") - and sometimes it just makes me uneasy (i.e.: see above example with Boy wherein I didn't really know what to say, other than tell an awkward story and then finish it off with a shrug).
Saturday: Dinner with a dear friend who openly expressed to me that he's worried about me. WORRIED about me and my overly romantic ideals. Two days later and I still don't really know what to say about that. I know I should never settle, but has it gotten to the point where I've dreamed up someone who totally doesn't exist? Clearly, the answer is a resounding YES, but I still think a girl's got to have her standards. I'm not being terribly unrealistic, I don't think. I mean, I'm sure there's an intelligent, fun, geeky artist-musician-writer-photographer out there who wants to take me camping and eat beans out of a can one weekend and to the opera with champagne and strawberries the next.
Sunday: Conversations circling around relationships permeated the day. I ask about my guy friends, their gfs, their dating life. I lament my own. I assert myself with a fellow Single and say, "We choose to be single!" Well duh - I could be dating any schmo who's ever tried to pick me up, but clearly, I'm not. And then my bestfriend and I lie in bed and watch a handful of Sex and the City episodes, which are allll about men, and sex, and relationships and yada yada. I fell asleep last night with visions of fictional Carrie's fictional sex columns in the fictional New York newspaper and how they relate to my own life.
My whole weekend, taken over by the idea of my Singlehood or lack of being in a Relationship. It's become that big of a deal. So! In the spirit of trying something new, and for want of Oh, Why Not? I think I've decided to see what eHarmony is like. Those commercials on tv have been catching my eye for a while now (have you met Tanyalee and Joshua?), and because it's also scaring my friends a little, I think I may try this thing out. It's just another avenue after all. It could be fun, it could be awful, but I'll never know until I see for myself (and seriously peeps, I'm just SEEING, I'm not really DOING anything real yet). So, for now:
Hello. I'm a woman. Seeking a man.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Give Me Something To Talk About
Oog. Feeling worn out.
The weekend was well marinated in alcohol - rich red wines on Friday night and a good amount of Jager on Saturday. Got myself lots of excercise - yoga and then dancing for hours in four and a half inch heels.
Back to the grind tomorrow, after what seemed to be a long weekend because of all the things I did, people I saw...
I'm going to indulge in a home baked croissant and some Sex & the City before bed. Kind of wish there was more booze and physical activity for me to engage in tonight. I suppose pastries and Sarah Jessica Parker will have to do.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
The Best Things In Life
- hot yoga
- "Love Generation" by Bob Sinclair
- my "Thug Love" playlist
- and this semi-recent happening:
It was Saturday evening. I blew up from the subway, energized and excited for a night out with some new friends from work. I got up onto ground level, trying to figure where Bloor Street was so I could orient myself. I bopped along to whatever tune my iPod had playing and was about to walk out a set of doors when I decided to stop and ask the two guys standing there for some directions.
"Excuse me, do you guys know where Bloor Street is? I'm not really from around here."
"Oh yeah, it's just over that way." I started to take a step in the direction of their pointing fingers saying, "Awesome, thanks!" when one of them pulled me back by the shoulder.
"Whoa, whoa. You can't go out there."
I was puzzled. "What? Why not?"
"Don't you see that?"
"See what?" I was almost vaguely creeped out when I turned and saw what they were talking about. Parked right in front of the set of doors to the subway station was a taxi cab. On fire.
I gasped. "Holy crap! I didn't even notice that!"
"Whaaat?!" The two of them burst out laughing and nearly fell to the floor. I suppose it was fairly funny that, despite the crowd that had formed, the smell of smoke and burning oils and rubbers, I didn't notice a flaming vehicle that was in my way. These guys thought it was hilarious.
"Are you serious?! Did you really not see that?!"
"Well, no... I was just looking for Bloor Street!" More laughter ensued. I paused. "Well, what am I supposed to do now? I have to go that way - I'm going to be late!"
"You can still go. You just have to avoid the burning car that might explode." And more laughter...
"Great - that convinced me." I putzed back and forth. I looked at them. "Seriously, do you think I can go? It won't blow up, will it?"
"Nah, you can make it. It'll only take a couple seconds to run past it."
I narrowed my eyes. "Are you sure?" I took a breath and got ready to make a run for it. I surveyed the scene. The flames were getting bigger. And it was burning where I thought the explode-y type things were to be found. The crowd was growing, gathering farther away from it. I stepped back. "No, no way! It's totally going to blow up. I can't go past that thing!"
"Oh you totally can! Just run, really fast." This coming from the guys who tried to stop me from going out there at all - and now they were supporting me in it. I'm sure I looked skeptical and apprehensive.
"...maybe I should just stay for a bit. I kind of want to watch it explode."
"Come on," one of them said. "I'll go with you."
Before the word "What?" had left my mouth, he grabbed my hand and we ran for it.
Screaming with laughter, we ran through the smoke, right past the taxi cab on fire, nearly crashed into an onlooker taking a photo, through the crowd, and made it to the other side. We must have looked like lunatics.
Laughing and filled with glee, we high-fived each other and let out a couple celebratory cheers and whoops of joy. It was hilarious - I hadn't had that much spontaneous fun in a long while. When I had caught my breath I smiled, thanked him, and bid him good luck in getting through the cloud of smoke to find his buddy. He wished me luck in finding Bloor Street. And with that, we turned and went our ways.
My friends were incredulous when I told them the story; not at the odd situation, but at the fact that I didn't make a move. Maybe I should have asked him where he was going that night, and why the 12-pack of beers in his other hand. Maybe I should have told him where I was going to be. I didn't ask for his name or his number, and I didn't offer my own. My friends made me think that I should have, but really, I didn't even think of it at the time. I was having too much fun. Ultimately, I'm content with the fact that I didn't do anything.
I suppose I felt that sometimes, these little moments just need to be left as they are. Pockets of time where everything feels suspended for a moment and the only things that exist are a fiery blur rushing past you, the feeling of someone's hand clutched tightly in yours, the sound of wild laughter.
To whoever you are, Thanks. You made my night. And then some.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
A Taste Of My Own Medicine
I can't stand working when it's the weekend, and yet I've been bringing home stacks and stacks of applications to screen every night. And since I've been so busy at the office with interviews, a little project that I thought was done when I handed it to my manager last week also followed me home on Friday evening. Well, it's also home with me because I messed up. How fabulous - my first big, detailed oriented task and I mess it up. Way to embarrass myself not only to my manager, but also to the Director of IT who just recently added me to LinkedIn...?
Anyway, it's Sunday night at 9pm and I'm scrambling to get this work done for tomorrow morning. This is what I get for spending my whole weekend burning through Season 3 of Project Runway. (I even skipped yoga - both days!) I may or may not have also fallen asleep this afternoon after watching all the special features on the DVD... For the record, I totally liked Season 2 better.
...and I really wish I was watching it right now as opposed to being stressed out about figuring out our phone needs for the upcoming travel season. I nearly went blind scrutinizing sales reports and counting days the first time around. If only I wasn't an idiot and hadn't forgotten a very obvious detail (two tour leaders need two phones, not one DUH), I wouldn't be here right now. Oy, I really should have gotten this done on Saturday. Oh wait - I couldn't have(!) because I was busy buying my parents a car(!) since I wrecked theirs. I now know what it's like to be really, really pressed for money and writing a cheque for thousands upon thousands of dollars? is a weird feeling.