Monday, March 31, 2003
I'm alive, so don't worry. I'm just not really free. To do this I mean. I'll be back shortly.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
And The Mind Hiccups
I think I'm stressed. Last night I felt as though as I going to burst at the seams just thinking about all the things I had to do. In the past, maybe I was able to brush off a few things, but dealines and marks have never mattered as much as they do now. Now. Everything is now. At least they seem that way. When will the madness end?! Fortunately and unfortunately, I had rugby practice yesterday and today. Unfortunately because it reminded me that I have not done any physical activity for about four months and am badly out of shape. Fortunately because it was a stress reliever. I like those.
I have been thoroughly honoured by the Key Club as they asked me to be a speaker at their Volunteerism Conference, "Strive! 2003", in late April. It's stuff like this that makes me feel really good about myself and what I do. To me, this makes up for all those scholarships that I didn't win and didn't even get nominated for. Who cares if I don't know how to make myself look good on paper? I don't have to embellish anything on any stupid application form to change people's lives. Take that!
I feel really bitter. I heard that the Board has cancelled all out of country trips again and there are some very sad art people walking around because they don't get to go to New York. I felt like that when they prevented me from going to DECA Nationals in Salt Lake City, and sometimes, I still do. But this year, Olga (head of DECA lady) was able to pull some strings and make the Nationals a non-board related activity so they can fly over the border without being harassed by the big wigs. I feel so jipped. Where the hell were you last year Olga?!
Sunday, March 23, 2003
...coveting: A couple of these for my room
...supposed to be doing: Calculus homework
...writing: Something for VoX/Toronto Star High School Journalism Awards
...waiting for: Google to load
...thinking about: The upcoming week
Monday - Rugby practice
Tuesday - Rugby practice
Wednesday - AIA lecture, recovering from rugby practice
Thursday - More rugby practice
Friday - Work, surprise plans with Gregory
...thinking: Oy vey
Saturday, March 22, 2003
Tons o' Coinage
This past Wednesday, during our Classics Club meeting (yes, I am part of the Classics Club and I'm proud!) we discussed the arrival of a guest speaker, Mr. Tama-yama-something, and the welcome banner that we were making.
Nikhil: So we need a banner (Sam, you're making it) to welcome Mr. T. What should it say?
Me: Didn't we decide on "Welcome Mr. T" last time?
Nikhil: Let's use coin puns!
(He's a coinist/coin curator.)
Sean: Let's speak in coin puns the entire time he's here!
Me/Chris: Like what?
Sean: What's coin on?
Nikhil: These are awful!
Sean: Coin coin coin coin coin coin coin!
Nikhil: That's not even a pun!
By the end of the meeting, we had also come up with "See you on the flip side", and "coin-cloth" for some reason.
Summer's coming and I can taste it. Wait, that might just be acid rain. Anyway, the weather is getting warmer and sunnier and my mood is getting better as a result. I want my tattoo so badly now!
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
War Sucks Ass But I'm Not Going To Talk About It
I went pretty much all of the March Break without wearing my high heels. I worked quite a bit and standing around in a tea shop all day in four inch heels isn't such a good idea. And so, I revisited my babies yesterday for school. Sure, my feet hurt a bunch when I got home, but I figured I was breaking them in again. Today, (I wore them again becuase they help when I'm trying to cross the streams that have replaced our sidewalks) that fleshy area right under my toes (fondly referred to as "the balls of your feet" I think) hurt like a mother...chili pepper. I walked a lot today and those rough, cottony socks from Biway didn't help at all. I think I left half the skin on the sole of my foot in my sock.
In other news: Locks of Love Hair-Raiser! Grow your hair until May 29 and then cut it off to make a wig for a kid who has no hair and no money to buy a wig! Yaaaaay!
Come out to room 211 Thursday after school for more (serious) info.
Update: I bought Tatu's CD and love it
Supposed to be: Doing calculus homework
Really, currently I'm: Blogging
Thinking: I want John Mayer to sing Your Body Is A Wonderland to me
Swooning at: John Mayer
Dreaming about: John Mayer
Drooling and melting over: John Mayer
Monday, March 17, 2003
I was walking to the bus stop today after school and had to cross a lake doing it. If anyone knows the layout of MDHS, picture that grassy area that leads to the back path filled with water. Filled. My eyes, in their old age, didst deceive me and I thought that there was a small path which was dry enough for me to walk. (You see, I needed to cross the lake in order to go through the path which leads to my bus stop.) As I mentioned, I was deceived. I walked, unsuspectingly, into water about a foot deep and kept doing it because I thought drier land lay ahead. I was wrong. It was at this time, when I was standing on a small patch of snow, looking at my wet feet and thinking about what to do next, that I heard a voice from across the parking lot.
"You can do it, Shirley!" It was Seannery to the rescue. "Sean! I'm stuck! Help me! What do I do?!"
"Have no fear, I'LL save you!" And so, he runs, every step that he takes sinking deeper into the cold, muddy water. Step. "Ahh!" Step. "Ahh!" Step. "AHH!" By the time he reached me, we were both laughing and crying at the same time.
"How did you get this far?"
"I don't know!"
"How do we get out?"
"I don't know!"
"What do we do?!"
And so, hilarity ensued as we contemplated hopping over a fence, but then simply hung onto it for dear life, and finally, we made it to the bus stop.
Thursday, March 13, 2003
Colour Me Wimpy
Context: I work at a chiropractic clinic once a week. I clean it on Sundays for about three hours. I hate it there. Two weeks ago I get a new job at the mall, wearing a Victorian style maid's outfit and selling tea. I love it there. I've been planning to quit the clinic for at least a month, but I keep putting it off. Finally, I say to myself that I'm going to go and talk to her sometime this week before school starts.
It's my boss from the clinic calling, she says that she saw me at the mall the other day.
Feeling: Extremely nervous.
She asked how long I had been working there.
"About two weeks."
So I like it there, I get to meet lots of people, right?
Thinking: Quit now!
Am I still okay for Sundays?
"...I think so."
Good, I should let her know if I need anything.
Thinking: Quit now! It's not too late!
"Great, yeah, things are fine."
Good, she says.
I was caught completely offguard and didn't know how I should tell her that I wanted to quit! Everything I had rehearsed flew right out of my head and now I'm stuck. SIGH. I'll be working there the rest of my life.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Go About Things The Wrong Way
When I first applied to OUAC, I had to rank my university choices. Two months ago, the order on my application was as follows:
Last night, while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I put my foot down and decided that I was not going to go to Queen's and instead, go to Laurier. Why, I don't know. Regardless, *stomp*. Down goes my foot, and the order reversed.
During my day at the Queen's open house, my choices were as follows:
Of course, this was because they had bagpipes, kilts and highland dancing! I SO want to be a highland dancer. If that's not a good reason to go there, what is? As if I would even consider letting my education get in the way of my decision.
However, after some real, rational thought this evening, I have decided this new order:
That, of course, will all change when I visit the other two campuses.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Tuesdays With Morrie
I fought boredom today with a story about life and death. Tears won the battle. My eyes are still swollen and moist, but they feel dry and withered. I love emotion but sometimes dislike being so emotional. It's the tension of opposites. I need to learn to be less selfish and materialistic; more compassionate and appreciative.
Two years ago, someone asked me why "I'm so nice". As if I had an ulterior motive of some sort. My only answer was, "Why not?" At the time, I thought I was being nice just because I wanted to, that there was no reason for me to be mean, I liked being nice and so I was. Recently, I've come to the realization that the goodness and ambition that is in me is there partly because I'm afraid of death. Afraid that no one will come to my funeral, no one will say nice things about me, afraid that no one will mourn, no one will remember me. And so, I'm nice. It's a humbling thought, your own funeral.
On a pensive autumn evening last year, I thought to myself, "I wish everyone was afraid of death. I wish that everyone thought about it in the morning, before they got out of bed. Because after that, perhaps they'd be thankful for what they have and maybe be an inch nicer to people. And the world would be a better place." I know it sounds morbid, even a bit naive to think that the world can be made better by such a simple thing. But death is the great equalizer and we are all the same in the end. We need others to live when we are born, we need others in the end, when we are dying.
And here's the secret: We need others in between too.
What can I do but be nice?
Sunday, March 09, 2003
Any Given Day
After 3 hours of TV watching last night, I decided these three things:
1. I want to learn to dance...the dirty way. Not like Christina, but like Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing. I love that movie.
2. I want to marry John Mayer. And have his children. I saw this short interview and that man is so intelligent and funny and...dreamy. What I would do to have that man sing to me...*swoon*
3. I'm buying Tatu's CD. They're not very good live, but I just have to give them my money. It's a return to my musical roots...and plus, they're hot. You think guys have trouble standing up after their video? Heck, so do I!
Saturday, March 08, 2003
Homemade Apple+Orange+Kiwi Juice = 1 Healthy YUM
I am thoroughly distraught.
Oliver Wood will not feature in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Of all the goshdarned things.... He's one the seven main reasons why those films are a success! Think of all the teenaged girls that will be upset by this news...won't somebody please think of the girls?! And his last name is Biggerstaff. Bigger...staff. You can't fire someone with a last name like that.
Greg and I hit the mall yesterday and I am now eyeing Tatu's new CD. I heard their first single (and saw it at the same time, mind you), All The Things She Said on Much a few weeks back and couldn't get it out of my head. I had no idea their album was released and saw it yesterday for only $7.99 at MusicWorld. (Wow, check out all that linkage.) Anyway, I decided not to be impulsive and sampled it for a few minutes. It's Russian pop. Not that it's a bad thing. Some of it is pretty good dance music with lots of bass, so I'm sure there will be remixes hitting the clubs soon, and it was nice to hear a female voice for a change. It reminds me of the music I used to listen to...new-age/techno/pop...kinda. It's not exactly easy-listening since I can hardly stop myself from dancing to it.
Currently coveting that, and this. I've been trying to find one since I saw the first movie.
Thursday, March 06, 2003
Tomorrow's Coming Too Soon
Something inside doesn't feel right. I'm in a mood...of sorts. People see me as Little Miss Happy-Happy/Perky most of the time and I'm fine with that, because it's mostly true; I love smiling and having fun. But I've got my pensive and somewhat introverted side too. (Surprise!) And I think that it's taken over the past few days, or weeks even. Whatever it is that I'm thinking about is making me melancholy. Sometimes I feel like listening to sappy, sad music while wallowing in my thoughts...whatever they are. Other times I throw on some punk and I'm fine.
I feel I need a rejuvination. Working at the tea shop has somehow turned me towards myself again. Most of the girls that work there are into holistics, naturopathy and/or homeopathy. One teaches yoga, another wants to be a midwife, and others don't eat refined foods or anything with an ingredient list that's more than two lines long.
I'm going to commit this March Break to myself and releasing those toxins. I'm already drinking lots of tea, so I figure I must start my yoga again. I started doing yoga about three years ago but I've been slacking lately...if "lately" means "for the last few months". However, I will tolerate no more of that. I have a real desire to be at peace right now.
I'm not in my usual story-telling mood...again. I may have nothing much to say, but that's never stopped me before. It's been a quiet couple of days and it's a nice change, I suppose. After all, your mouth was made to close and your ears weren't.
I've scarificed two nights worth of sleep to finish off The Prisoner of Azkaban and it was well worth it. It's been about 2 years since I last read it and I had forgotten how simply wonderful those books are. I mean it when I say I couldn't stop turning the pages. That woman is pure genious, I tell you. I was this close to opening The Goblet of Fire, but then I thought twice and headed to bed instead.
I'm at school right now and I don't know why. I woke up late and decided to scrap the whole day. How responsible.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
I feel like sharing...something, but I don't know what. I suppose my life has gotten less entertaining these past weeks since I have no interesting stories to tell. Or maybe it's just me. Oh, who am I kidding? It's always just me.
I was going to tell some stories about pencils, book buying and perhaps my hair donation, but I'm going to go read instead. I've gotten myself involved with the Prisoner of Azkaban again. I can't seem to keep myself away from Harry. June 21st has never seemed so exciting (for those who don't know, The Order of the Phoenix is coming out that day). Apparently, so many people are pre-ordering it, that it is already a bestseller and it's not even out yet. People can be so entertaining.
Saturday, March 01, 2003
It was beautiful today and I hope you went outside.
My first day at The Old Curiosity Tea Company (of course they hired me) and I loved it! I've tried three new kinds of tea already and if I keep that up every time I work, in 43 more shifts I'll have tried every kind of tea they have (127). That's a lot of tea. So far, working there is lovely; the girls are very friendly about teaching me how to behave the "British way" in order to please our boss, Roger (who is very British apparently). The uniform doesn't even come close to bothering me. Of course, when I first put it on and went downstairs, my mother laughed at me. Very loudly. And for a long time. I kind of looked like an octogenarian on her way to a funeral. But after I put on the frilly apron, frilly bonnet and choker, I thought I looked kind of cute. In a British-maid kind of way.
At least it's not Molly Maid! That's right, I'm quitting my stinky job at the clinic. I'm putting my foot down at last; no more cleaning for me. Now all I have to do is muster up enough courage to tell them I quit. In the past, every time (which was just two times) I told my employer that I wanted to leave, I couldn't. They all said the same thing to me:
"I'd really hate to lose you."
And I gave in. That's right, they pulled a guilt trip and it worked. So in the end, I didn't quit and continued working for them instead. It wasn't too bad, afterwards they gave me whatever hours I wanted and were willing to be very flexible in order to accomodate me. I may be a spineless jellyfish, but I had them wrapped around my little finger. Kind of.
Alright, alright, I'll go work on my saying NO skills. I'll fashion some sort of letter of resignation tonight and call them on Monday. Anyone know how to write one of those things? I hope they don't get mad.