Sunday, February 29, 2004
Good Buck/Bad Buck

I'm trying not to think about it, I'm trying very hard. I had my 2nd Don interview on Thursday (goodness, was that only Thursday? It's felt like a feckin' eternity), and letters come out this Friday. I can't really gauge my performance all that well and I feel pretty flimsy about it all right now, more nonchalantness than I'm used to. I've subscribed to a new sort of fatalism recently, and though I don't necessarily believe that everything is predetermined, I do seem to increasingly believe that there are reasons for the way that things turn out. I've always said that all you can do is your best, and then just keep your fingers crossed after that. The hardest part is accepting the fact that if the outcome is not what you wanted, there still is a reason for it.

I've been turned down for two jobs on campus already, and my optimism is being drained. If I can't be hired by university people to be an usher or camp counsellor, then who in the real world is going to hire me? School is coming to an end faster than I thought and I need some money. Though I loved/love the tea shop, I can't imagine working there as a part-timer again. Resumes are going out sometime this week or early next week so I can start racking up interviews when I get home. I still have my fingers crossed for a job at the on campus art gallery for next year, and if I don't get that, well, let's just say I won't be too happy. I didn't even get interviews for the last two jobs that I applied to. Not even an interview. It's a shame too, I'm usually pretty good at them, so I guess the problem lies in the way that I look on paper. The camp counsellor job was a major disappointment and I felt quite angry, upset and rejected for a day or two.

Anyway, I'm going to stop griping and end with a piece of good news. I got accepted to do a presentation at the Ontario Residence Hall Association Conference this coming weekend! Nervous? Yes.