Sunday, January 25, 2009
Wishful Thinking

My parents just came in to wish me a Happy New Year and with their lucky red pockets came well-wishes for the upcoming year. Of course, they wished me good health, happiness, and prosperity, but my favourite had to be when they both (completely independent of each other) wished that I find a good boyfriend this year. And of course, that was the wish that they felt the need to elaborate the most on. Thanks for that, mum and dad. As if they're the only ones who noticed my painful existence in the land of Singlehood. They're definitely not the only ones; my cousin of 16 years old asked me over the holidays if liked being alone (his tone of voice implying that it was weird I didn't have a boyfriend). Little do my parents know, I wished for the same thing when I prayed to the ancestors this afternoon, all five times.

2008 was the year of moving around, which, though it scared off a couple of guys, was really great for me. Now that I've gotten to where I am, I don't know if I would call it being needy or clingy (I wouldn't, actually)... I just know, really KNOW, what it's like to be in love, REALLY in love, and goshdarnit to heck, I miss that. When I'm with someone, like really WITH someone, I believe in them and in the Powers That Be for having brought us together. It's like my faith can finally stop hovering around awkwardly and finally settle somewhere, with a sigh of relief. And at the end of the day, I don't know how to say it other than: It's just a really nice feeling to go to bed believing in something.