Hello, Would You Like Some Tea?

On weekends, you can usually find me standing somewhere outside of the Tea Shop offering free samples of tea, hot or iced. My hope is that people will approach me wanting a sip of tea. Sometimes, I get more than I wish for. A few weeks ago, I was accosted by a triumverate of hooligans who took handfuls of tea biscuits and proclaimed that our tea "sucked". Fine. Then a man, who later introduced himself as Derwin, took a photo of me to show his friend who worked at Stratford making costumes or something. We chatted for a bit about Star Trek (though I know nothing of it) and he gave me his card. This is his website. He's a science fiction writer who has an award named after him, the Derwin Mak Attack Award for sick humour. Wha-? *shrugs* Beats me.
Here is a biased account of my adventures today with Lawrence.

Lalala, here I am handing out tea. Oh look, there is a man who works here at the mall. I can tell because he is dressed like someone who would work at the mall. I shall smile faintly at him because I am too tired to smile brightly. *smile* Oh look, there he goes that way. Approximately 5 minutes later I see him come back.

Man: Oh hi, what are you selling?
Me: Hi, we're actually sampling some tea, would you like some?
Man: Sure. *sip* What's your name?

Well, that was sudden.

Me: Oh, I'm Shirley. And you are?
Man: I'm Lawrence. I work at The Cutting Edge. We sell kitchen supplies.
Me: Riiight, the knife place.

And so we banter about his knifey job and my day so far at the shop....

Me: So are you on break or something?
Lawrence: Yes, it's just me and the owner, we just leave whenever we want.
Me: Mmm, that's nice.
Lawrence: So, Shirley. Can I have your home phone number?

Whoa. Did he actually say that?

Me: Excuse me?
Lawrence: Can I have your home phone number?

So he did.

Me: *quite flabbergasted* Uhhh, I don't think so.
Lawrence: Why not?

Why not? Why not?? What's with this guy? Aw jeebus.

Me: I just...don't think it's a good idea to...give my phone number out.
Lawrence: Well, make a decision. Yes or no.

Alright Mr. Pushy-Pushy. That's no way to talk to a lady. You want to go out with me or something? Try being a bit nicer! Meanie.

Me: No.

And with that, we bid each other a good day and he left.
A half hour later I see him over at the store buying some tea. Two cups. And then I see him leaving the store. And walking towards me. At this point, I'm assuming he's come to apologize and maybe offer me some tea.

Lawrence: Hey Shirley. How's it going?
Me: Good, thanks.

He puts his tea down on the table. He pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.

Lawrence: So Shirley, I asked for your phone number.

I look (aghast) from the pen and paper to him to the tea to the pen and paper and to him again. I'm blown away. I can't believe this guy. I said no, I actually said NO, not "maybe" or any other wishy-washy answer. NO.

Me: Look, Lawrence, I'm sorry, but I...I kind of have...a boyfriend. That's why I said no last time, sorry.

Yeesh. I will never assume anything ever again.


7:58 pm