Monday, November 24, 2003
I Wish I Could Learn By Osmosis

Unexpectedly and surprisingly, I've discovered that something I love is high ropes courses. I went on the IRC retreat this weekend and part of our planned fun was to take part in low ropes activities as groups. During free time we were allowed to visit the high ropes if we wanted to. By the way, heights scare the freak out of me. But remembering my wonderful high ropes experiences at the LEAD retreat in Grade 11, I decided to harness up and climb 40 feet into the air anyway.

It was a test. I wanted to see if I could do it. I'm scared of heights and I wish I wasn't. My various attempts at getting over the fear have not yet worked, so I figured I might as well keep trying until it goes away.
Step one: Do not tell anyone that you are afraid if heights. If you say it out loud, it becomes real.
Step two: Look straight ahead and not down at the safety of the ground which you are rapidly leaving.
Step three: When you finally set foot onto the ropes dangling 40 feet in the air, realize (with a sharp intake of breath) that perhaps your fear is so intense it may never go away.
Step four: Manage to make your way across the very unstable rope and/or log despite the fact that you have forgotten how to work your knees.

The strange thing was, after I made it back down to the ground, I forgot that fear and wanted to do it again. What are you, stupid? I couldn't remember the intensity of the feeling. I remember being scared, being really scared, but I couldn't remember how it made my heart beat faster, my palms sweaty and my body shaky. I couldn't remember how it felt. Is that why I can be such a slow learner sometimes?

...
Seeing these made me excited for a while.
Troy
Shrek 2
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban