Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Happy February

I've been trying to work on a new post for some time now. I'm still not sure how I want to say things, or what I even have to say. Things have changed around here, in some way reflecting the changes that are taking place in my life.

I feel tired a lot of the time and want to write people I barely know long letters about how I feel. I want to paint and dance and go for long walks during sunny afternoons. I never want to leave the stage. Instead, I sleep in, go to class, go to work, arrive at rehearsals late, chat with my roommate about boys and loneliness and strength and self-worth.

I'm toning this place down a bit and I'm not sure how it's going to be, though it will most likely get a little more personal and reflective. In some way, I didn't feel the good vibe anymore. Things have changed; I feel different on the inside and I can't put my finger on it. I wish I could tell you all these things and more; I want to but I can't find the words. So instead, I hid all my words in the archives. I want to read your words too, but I'm taking comments off. I want this space to be mine again...it has been mine for the entire time, but I became more occupied than I wanted to be with checking comments. Feel free to e-mail me though. I'd still love to hear from you.

I'm not going to stop blogging. Not now. Not because of this. I've been journalling more and keeping things to myself, but a part of me never ever wants to stop sharing.