Wednesday, July 06, 2005
WH-FREAKING-Y?

I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it.

Why are we here, why together, why at the same place, the same time? I had no idea he was coming. No idea no idea no idea. Why do we think alike? Do we think alike? What does this mean? Does it mean anything at all?

Why am I watching him? Why why why. It's so unbelievably ridiculous because I look at him and he's looking at another girl. Classic love triangle. And it freaking sucks. I'm so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid me. Stupid stupid. STUPID!

STOP. I need to stop looking. I need to stop thinking. I need to stop CRYING in the middle of a lecture on science fiction literature because for SOME REASON I can't stop thinking about HIM. I need to stop stop stop stop STOP. I need to run away. Ha, from California of all places! Can you imagine, me, running AWAY from California. How ironic. I thought I would escape him here.

I'm a sucker. A sucker who needs to stop thinking about the past, who needs to stop thinking in general. I need to stop looking, watching, seeing him here, looking and watching and seeing other girls. Stop stop stop.

Stop.

How is one expected to have fun in an environment like this? Is it possible? Crappity crap, this freaking sucks. I am so frustrated I want to scream.

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