I Wish I Knew How To Quit You**

Finally, there's something else that I don't like about Ottawa: Boring tour guides. To my fellow tour-industry peeps, it is now peak season and little kiddies are running all over the place on their End Of School trips and you NEED.TO.BE.MORE.FUN. Giving a tour to adults is one thing, but when you've got a group of children with you, you cannot, CANNOT, give them years and dates and names of obscure painters and architects and even past Governer Generals, despite their importance, because not only will they not remember any of it, THEY DON'T CARE. Dude, I care and I couldn't bear to pay attention to your tour. And when the keener Tour Manager who actually wants to learn about the history of her country is paying more attention to the design in the hardwood floor than to what you're saying, you know you need to spice it up a notch. Yeesh.

Also, I have now seen the full extent to which McDonald's has a grasp on the minds of tomorrow. I know that children go through serious brain cramps when away from home (see: severe lapses in judgement on overnight school trips), but when they decide to leave the group and secretly run across an eight lane highway with cars going at 130kph to eat at a McDonald's because there isn't one on this side of highway, there's something wrong. One: Is it really worth it? Two: If you don't get killed first, you will get caught.

Other than boring tour guides and slightly idiotic children (who were actually quite wonderful when not craving McD's), the tour to Ottawa went swimmingly.

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The great thing about summer and NO SCHOOL is that there are so many things to do and so many wonderful people to do them with that not only is being completely exhausted from your daily activities so that a three hour nap is required at 4pm in the afternoon acceptable, but that it is actually expected. At least for me. I love that.

When I was younger, summers were spent being bored at home, on the phone with my best friend, or working at the mall. I led a boring life and I even had a summer journal that I wrote in everyday when I was about twelve that chronicled what time I got up every morning and what I ate for breakfast. Today: I slept in, had fresh fruits for brekkie, went to a driving range and hit the batting cages, chilled out with my uncle, brother, brother's girlfriend and a pecan-mudslide sundae in the wonderful summer sun, came home to nap, sang tunes from one of my favourite movie-musicals in the shower and danced around my room while on the phone because my mood was just that good. School can be awesome too, but summer is a high that I never, ever want to come down from.

Doing physical activity out in the sun was excellent for me and that was more upper back exercise than I've gotten in a long time. I have now officially golfed and fully appreciate the skill required to hit that damn tiny ball and have realized that I'm a much better softball player than I am driving-ranger. On a safety side note: baseball helmets, though dorky looking and awful helmet-hair inducing, are actually helpful in preventing major head injuries. I know this because my brother was taking a few practice swings and didn't notice how close I was standing to him and with one swift whoosh, his bat successfully connected with the back of my skull. Thanks to the helmet, I was saved from a gruesome death a la bashed open head, unlike Jake Gyllenhaal* in Brokeback Mountain** - though an accidental bat to the back of the head is nothing like a hate-driven crowbar to the beautiful, beautiful face. I am so glad that we made a spontaneous stop at the illegally-burned DVDs for cheap! store.

***

*I LOVE YOU. Jakey baby, will you and your chiseled, rugged good looks, defined jawline, dark hair and clear blue eyes marry me? Bring your buddy Heath too, just in case we need company.

**WOW. Just wow. I can't believe I waited this long to see this movie. Why do the sweethearts have to die? Why do hearts have to be broken? Why did his death and that music have to be the saddest things ever? Le sigh. And oh man, that kiss? Those KISSES? Best ever. Holy turn on. Mm mmm melllt.

***I LEAVE IN TWO WEEKS!!!
11:58 pm