Crappy Lessons

Before I leave for a two week road trip with the fam (see: lots of Asians on Canada's East Coast) I want to take a moment to reflect on some of the crap I've had to deal with since I've been home and the very important lessons that I have learned from them.

Trying to get desperately needed money out of the bank that's been holding it hostage since May, even though you wrote a formal-ass letter all signed and sealed and signed again, can be hard when your Financial Investment Representative only works TWICE A WEEK.
Lesson: Don't invest in Special Edition 19-month GICs when you know you're going to be out of the country when they mature.

Sometimes I think I'd live and work better in a country that wasn't run by a democratically oriented government. Or any government at all. My student loans apparently need to be paid back starting uhm, five days ago. It turns out the student loan people don't care that I was studying full time in Spain (actually, I did double the hours of classes while I was there than I would have at my school here) because the UofA isn't recognized by the Canadian government. And therefore, any student who studies there basically doesn't count as a student here (at least, not to the people who have all the money and are in charge of handing it out). Uh - that makes sense HOW? It's like I wasn't in school at all when I was in school DOUBLE. So now they're asking for their moola back with tons of interest added because, well, because. THOSE ARE THE RULES.
Lesson: The government sucks.

I spent hours and days on the phone with about four or five different financial aid-type institutions because no one understood my problem. You were in school in Spain? You want them to stop charging you interest? What? Someone finally told me that if I wanted to stop the loan people from going into my bank account and just taking the money themselves (because that's what was happening since I wasn't home to receive my mail and check a box on a form and mail it back!) I could put a Stop Payment on them. So I tried to do that. Until they told me it would cost ten dollars. Excuse me, I need to PAY you to stop someone else from taking money from my account? Well, that's the whole damn point! I have no money and I want to keep whatever precious little I have left! I need to pay money OUT to keep the damn money IN?! *splutters* Whatthefuck!
Lesson: The banks suck too.

Speaking of Spain and the UofA, I'm mad at them too. Who tries to refund a deposit of 180 Euros with 160? Dude, if I paid a deposit of 180, I'm getting 180 back. It's just not logical to give me 160, it's just not.
Lesson: Remember, this university isn't recognized and they're trying to cheat you 20 Euros. What the hell kind of institution did I attend?

Then I got a call from a nurse who told me there might be something wrong with my vaginal lining. GREAT.
No lesson. No comment.

Upon realizing that I'm only registered for two courses this fall (no WONDER my tuition invoice was so low!) I went on a mad hunt for phone numbers and email address to figure out who to beg to get my ass into some classes.
PS: What the eff is a Major Restriction? And why the hell was it applied to me, when I need that course to graduate? If anything, it should be majorly restricting all those other dopey second year biz-kids who have filled up the class preventing me from getting in it and GRADUATING!
Lesson: Remember deadlines. Do things before it's too late. Stop begging. Keep dignity.

Convincing my parents to let me go to the Philippines this fall term didn't go over so well.
Lesson: Next time, don't ask.

My taxes were due to be filed in May. It's now August. Shit.
Lesson: The government still sucks. But pray they don't punish you.

Basically, when you leave the country for six months and fall behind on keeping up with your responsibilities, they eventually catch up with you and bite you in the arse. Hard. Then again, I suppose if you fell behind, then they wouldn't so much catch up with you as you would them. And they'd just wait there for you to turn up and then smack you in the face. Or punch you in the nose. Hard.

Oh yah, and this evening I was trying to understand why, even though the dental hygenist said in her heavily Chinese-accented English that I have "beauty teeth", she decided to go ahead and scrape them until my gums bled and bled and my whole jaw throbbed with pain. Perhaps in order to maintain my "beauty teeth" my gums needed to suffer? Badly?

I am also in need of gum grafting, apparently. They're going to take dime-sized slivers of gum from the roof of my mouth and then stick them onto the four places where my gumline is receding. I'm 23, have a receding gumline and require forty cents worth of thick, hearty roof-of-the-mouth gum to patch up the ares that are lacking. Fun!
Lesson: Don't even start with me.
12:30 am