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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Stage Starved I have just come from the worst audition of my life. I suppose the one I had when I was seventeen and couldn't act, sing or dance must have been worse, but as of late, I have never, ever had an audition go so horribly awry. It's not like it was a scheduling thing or even that I showed up late. It's not like my cold got so bad that I couldn't sing. Nothing 'went wrong', per se. There was, however, a dance component. 'Nuf said. Let it be known that I solemnly swear to never audition for musical theater again, until I, by some miracle, attain even the teeniest bit of rhythm. Or learn to memorize a series of dance steps in fifteen minutes. Come on! We had to do three whole counts of eight! THREE! Okay, so that's only about fifteen seconds of dancing, but this isn't you're-drunk-at-the-club-and-no-one-notices-anyway kind of dancing. This is you've got a choreographer teaching you complicated steps and digs and turns and ARM MOTIONS in front of a panel of production crew. Not. Cool. I'm not really sure how I looked when I was danc- erm, TRYING to dance, but it couldn't have been pretty. I bet they sure are glad they videotaped the auditions so they can watch me embarrass myself again and again and ...again. For three whole counts of eight. I thought I'd try to break into the musical theater thing because it's awesomely fun, but seeing that I just started singing again and I can't dance to save my life (or, audition in this case) I think I'll stick to regular theater from now on. Speaking of which, I did ace my audition last week. I aced it so good that I ran into the producer the next day and she raved about me and how talented I was and how I was the best one and that I should definitely pursue acting because OMG I'M SO GOOD AT IT. It didn't go quite like that, but it sure was nice to know that I've got 'a fan of my work' out there (hee, I've always wanted to say that). So yes, she loved me and they loved me a lot. Except I couldn't be cast. Because my schedule didn't fit into theirs! Hmm! That sounds familiar! Like that time I got a role in a movie and my schedule didn't fit into theirs so I didn't get to film it! Baaahhhhh. Alright, so it's not like I didn't get the part because I suck, but I don't understand how people can cast a show based on scheduling rather than talent. I'm dyyying over here. I don't want to do crappy amateur plays anymore, I want to do real things with real plays and actors who mean it! My god, can someone PLEASE just let me ACT? Just let me on a damn stage for crying out loud! I might just never get off. |
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