Monday, November 05, 2007
Another Year Further Or Farther?

Two weekends ago, I saw Little Miss Sunshine for the first time and I cannot believe that I hadn't seen it before. Sure, it annoyed the hell out of me at the beginning (dysfunction at its best has never been more annoying), but about two-thirds of the way through, the film really touched a soft spot in my heart. After Olive puts her head on her brother's shoulder and he started to speak, the movie immediately made its way onto my Favourite Movies list. Abigail Breslin is, as everyone has already said before me, incredible in this film. And every time I have a birthday I'm reminded that I'm one year further from being like her, a child prodigy. I never honed any of my talents at a young age and now I'm twenty-three and wondering what I could have been and what the heck to do with myself and my mediocre abilities in a variety of everything. Could I have been a pianist if my parents had only given me lessons when I asked for them? Could I have been like little Abigail if only my family had supported me in my acting pursuits? Could I have been a musician or painter or writer if only I focussed a little more?

It's too late for me, now that I'm a decade and a half from being a child star, but I wonder if my blog sometimes feels the same things as it gets older. Two days ago, this little bloggy turned five years old. Does it ever wonder what it could have been if only I gave it a little more attention, a little more lovin'? I think about the fact that some blogs out there have gotten incredibly famous in only a matter of a couple of years and I've been around for five. But of course, their owners probably had more ambition and a comments system. I've accepted the fact that I probably won't ever be a Hollywood girl, but I'll settle for being on stage somewhere else, somewhere smaller and more personal. I hope my blog is okay with the fact that it might never be one of those to have a huge readership or enough AdSense for me to live off of, and is okay with being just as it is: like its owner, small and personal.

At any rate, it surprises me that my blog has stayed with me for all this time. I never thought that I would still have it five years down the road when I first started it. It's grown a bunch and I, along with it. Thanks for sticking it out with me.