Who's Got Me?

Let's play a game. Try to guess if I went on An Outing With a Friend tonight, or on A Date: After work (me) and the gym (him), we both found our own way to a Japanese/Korean restaurant that he picked. We had dinner, caught up on the last six years, and then took a walk to find a bar where we sat down for a couple drinks and awkward glances at the televised basketball game. We walked to the subway station and I said yes to having him teach me to play pool. We rode a few stops together before he gave me a hug and got off. So, Friend-Date or Date-Date?

I staunchly stand by my description of, "Oh, I just had dinner and drinks with a friend from high school," because (and this is how I KNOW-know it was just a Friend-Date) we went Dutch on everything and he didn't offer to pay for me. Despite the fact that personally, I am actually inclined to say that it was an unfortunate collision of the two (a Friend-Date Turned Date-Date), I stand by the belief that a Date-Date is only so when a) he pays and b) you want it to be one. In this case, a) he didn't and b) I didn't either.

This is one of the ways in which I'm old-fashioned and an Idiotic Romantic at heart. Sure, I'll always offer to pay even when a guy pushes my wallet away, it's lovely for me to treat my boy too, and once you're settled into a relationship I fully believe in taking turns covering costs. And while I'd never ask someone to pay for me, I sill believe that Friends? go Dutch. Guys who want to get with you? pay for your dinner and drinks.

Then again, there's the type of guy who doesn't fall into either of these (two very black/white, totally unrealistic) categories. B, the guy I dated two summers ago, and Z, my handy Friend-cum-Stand-In-Boyfriend. The first few times B and I went out, I paid for everything (because he didn't have any cash on him. Honestly, gentlemen - if that is indeed what you are - never go out with a lady without some version of money on you. This is bad form and highly unattractive.), which frankly, both appalled and dismayed me. We continued to see each other and I'm pretty sure I continued to treat him to things.

Now, Z, is the exact opposite. In the handful of years that I've known him, every time we go out with our group of friends, he is constantly paying for taxis, hotels, drinks... he's even covered coat check fees. He doesn't (at least, I don't think) want to 'get with me', nor is he very rich; he's just extremely generous with his money and he clearly likes treating his girl friends like ladies when we go out. This past weekend, as we're all getting ready to go out to a club, he says to me, "I got you." (Except, with his slight thug accent it sounds more like "I gotchu.") I smiled. "You got me?" I asked, half knowing-hoping I knew what he meant. "Yea, I got you all night." Now, gentlemen - if you are truly looking to make your woman's knees all melty, tell her you got her, ie: you're paying for all her drinks and then some. Too bad we were only at the club for 45 minutes before my best friend couldn't stand up on her own anymore and we had to get out of there before the bouncers 'assisted' us.

What am I trying to say again?

Oh yeah. Tonight reminded me a lot of two things: 1. What it's like to date again, and 2. How much I'm not looking forward to dating again. I am currently lamenting the fact that I'm sitting here picking apart the evening I just had when it was just "dinner and drinks with a friend from high school," and it (and he) was perfectly nice. All in all, it didn't seem like he was grasping for a spark, a chance, or even my left boob. And, well, I suppose I have something to look forward to: the kind of dating that I choose voluntarily, and less awkwardly.

To the future. *clink*
11:08 pm