Singled Out

Friday: A brief conversation with a boy whom I like(d?), and with whom a relationship will most likely/definitely never be possible nor compatible, about my current status as single. "Are you seeing anyone?" No. "Are you going on dates?" Not... really. It's been a while since anyone asked and I was taken aback by the fact that someone cared. Or maybe cared just enough to ask to see if there was any chance in the near future that I would be leaving him alone. Depending on their bent, people's curiosity about me being single can be flattering (i.e.: "I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend! You're fabulous!" - to which I respond, "What, fabulous people have to have significant others? I'm fabulous alone, thanks.") - and sometimes it just makes me uneasy (i.e.: see above example with Boy wherein I didn't really know what to say, other than tell an awkward story and then finish it off with a shrug).

Saturday: Dinner with a dear friend who openly expressed to me that he's worried about me. WORRIED about me and my overly romantic ideals. Two days later and I still don't really know what to say about that. I know I should never settle, but has it gotten to the point where I've dreamed up someone who totally doesn't exist? Clearly, the answer is a resounding YES, but I still think a girl's got to have her standards. I'm not being terribly unrealistic, I don't think. I mean, I'm sure there's an intelligent, fun, geeky artist-musician-writer-photographer out there who wants to take me camping and eat beans out of a can one weekend and to the opera with champagne and strawberries the next.

Sunday: Conversations circling around relationships permeated the day. I ask about my guy friends, their gfs, their dating life. I lament my own. I assert myself with a fellow Single and say, "We choose to be single!" Well duh - I could be dating any schmo who's ever tried to pick me up, but clearly, I'm not. And then my bestfriend and I lie in bed and watch a handful of Sex and the City episodes, which are allll about men, and sex, and relationships and yada yada. I fell asleep last night with visions of fictional Carrie's fictional sex columns in the fictional New York newspaper and how they relate to my own life.

My whole weekend, taken over by the idea of my Singlehood or lack of being in a Relationship. It's become that big of a deal. So! In the spirit of trying something new, and for want of Oh, Why Not? I think I've decided to see what eHarmony is like. Those commercials on tv have been catching my eye for a while now (have you met Tanyalee and Joshua?), and because it's also scaring my friends a little, I think I may try this thing out. It's just another avenue after all. It could be fun, it could be awful, but I'll never know until I see for myself (and seriously peeps, I'm just SEEING, I'm not really DOING anything real yet). So, for now:

Hello. I'm a woman. Seeking a man.
10:29 pm