Gone Too Far

Last night I tossed and turned until just about 2am before finally, finally, falling asleep. It's an awful feeling, knowing that you're exhausted and need a good night's sleep before a work-week, but having your mind and body duke it out right there under the covers. Maybe it was my late dinner of cold chicken wings and pizza - but though I've heard that food before bed can give you weird dreams, I've never heard that it can kick your brain into high gear in the middle of the night.

To be honest, I think it's work that's keeping me up at nights. I have a nasty habit of taking work home with me - and not only in the sense that I consistently have reports in my purse - but in the sense that I carry work around with me on my mind during the commute home, while chewing a late dinner, in the shower, and it seems to be especially true when lying in bed trying to fall asleep.

I had just come home from a Sunday meeting (lies - I had just come home from the bar we went to after the Sunday meeting) and I felt like I was trying to do twenty-one things at once getting people ready for their trips. Keeping track of who is missing what from which kit, who needs uniform pieces, and extra manuals, and questions about pick up points, and assigning phones... I feared that if I wasn't mentally organized I might forget to do everything Monday morning. So I laid there and thought about it for FOUR HOURS.

It's not like I didn't try to fall asleep. I tried different positions. I repeated one phrase over and over (which has worked well in the past) to no avail. I tried relaxing my muscles - nope, seems like they're all perma-tense now. I started a late-night conversation with ex-lovah boy turned BFF. Finally, either my thoughts all got organized, or my brain exhausted itself from running laps around my head and flopped over on one side. Either way, I fell asleep THANK THE LORDS.

Now, I don't know which is a worse way to tell that work has taken over not only my life, but all available mind-space as well: the fact that I lie awake until 2am thinking about work, or the fact that I dream about work when I've finally managed to fall asleep. It's in my subconscious, people, my SUBCONSCIOUS!
9:11 pm