 ARCHIVES
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Sunday, December 19, 2010
Home For A Change It's been a little over a month since I came back home after my cycling adventures out east. Transitioning put me through more stress than I imagined, but I'm finally getting more comfortable with my old skin... Sort of. You know how people (and my old self) say that when you go away on a trip and you come back home it feels like you got back into your old routines like you didn't miss a step, without missing a beat? And they say it's like you never left? I used to say that stuff all the time. I used to praise myself on being so adaptable that I could go from Holidaying for weeks and months to Home and within days I was back to where I used to be - like I'd never left at all. I haven't said that this time. Because I don't want it to be true. I want it to feel like I DID go somewhere and now that I'm back I want it to feel like I DID leave and things changed. Things changed here at home and *I* changed while I was away. What else can explain my stumbling over those missed steps and the funny, unique sound of my own music - the sound of all those irregular, missed beats. What I'm struggling with is reconciling the ideals of this new life I just lived with the life I came from before my bike trip - and though what I lived on the trip was an extreme, it was also Real. And Doable. It's just harder when I'm without my 16-member family, this tight-knit support network that championed me through all my causes and challenges and I'm back in the city, a part of commuter culture and a society suffering from compulsive consumption. Because not everyone at work is cool with letting it mellow in the shared washroom, because going a week without a shower or washing my hair is noticable, because my gentle, friendly reminders can be seen as annoying and irritating to a group of people who aren't USED TO IT. As much as everyday is a reminder to be patient, I can't help but wonder WHY people don't use the other side of the paper before tossing it out (into the recycling or otherwise), or WHY people don't compost their organics. Because it's not that hard - sure, it may not be EASY, but I think it's important to reconceptualize "easy". Anyway - that's what I'm dealing with right now. Trying to challenge myself to make changes in my everyday life without irritating everyone around me, or myself. So I'm challenging my consumption by going as long as I can to go without buying something new, not using disposable things and encouraging others to do the same. The change won't be easy, but it will be necessary. |
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