Wonders Of Another World -OR- More Proof That I'm A Giant Snob

I have just had the luxury of a long weekend, wherein I did little other than eat and do hot yoga, and STILL, I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow. I think this says something about the amount of love I have for my job. Or maybe I just like food and stretching in hot rooms A LOT.

A big part of my job one month ago was recruitment, which has now become screening applications, reading resumes and interviewing. Every other night I come home with a stack of papers about how wonderful John is or how experienced Kate is (can you tell I was grading applications in front of the tv tonight?) and why I should hire them. Overall, it has been an interesting exercise for me because I'm learning what makes a good cover letter, what makes a great one, and how obvious it is to an employer when it's pulled from an online template. Same goes for resumes. And it's very apparent that people, namely those fresh in university, have no idea what they're doing when it comes to resumes (i.e.: SIX pages is entirely UNNECESSARY). I have been blessed with two years' work experience at my university Career Services centre and gladly, feel very comfortable with mine (though, as with everything else in life - and to keep myself as humble as possible - I'm sure it could use some polishing).

My co-coordinator aka partner in crime and I said that we should have made a Quote Wall with all the ridiculous and unbelievable things that we've read so far, but we're too nice (and busy) to do that. Instead, I will gently mock anonymous applicants here on my personal blog and hopefully offer some advice in the process.

The last question on our application asks applicants where they would travel to if they could go anywhere in the world (overdone, I know), and it seems that there's quite a number of people who seem to want to go to well, utopia, i.e.: a place that doesn't exist at all.

[Let me explain.

I studied Classical History and Latin all throughout high school and, as evidenced here, I came out of my teens with a list of Favourite Derivatives - not colours, stores, or bands, but DERIVATIVES - I blame my love for language and etymology. One of my favourites is the word "utopia" which derives from two Greek words: ou, which is a negation or means "no" and topos, meaning "place" - which ultimately gives "utopia" the meaning of "no place" or "nowhere" and that's really kind of neat, don't you think?

And speaking of places that are nowhere at all...]

Anyone ever heard of Stone Hedge? Perhaps a very important historical rock garden I'm not aware of? A famous site from another era of prehistory? What about the Sixteenth Chapel? Are there fifteen other ones that I've missed during my travels? Michelangelo nearly went blind from painting that ceiling and I can only imagine him rolling over in his grave when he hears that this generation of youth doesn't even know the proper name of one of the most widely-known and holiest sites of the Catholic world. I can't even fathom the other places in the world that I will discover solely by reading these applications....

Then there's one guy who talks of climbing the heights to see Macchu Picchu, which was built by The Aztecs. NOTE: The Aztecs, though an amazing civilization, did not build Macchu Picchu. The Incas did. Wrong country, buddy.

I don't mean to be mean, but this stuff is just too precious. And really, these things were just the punchline to otherwise well written pieces of rhetoric on why these people are just so cultured and interested in travelling and learning the history of the world... apparently, there is much to be learned.

Other things to note:
- If you do not know what a word means on an application, LOOK IT UP. Do not assume you know what "bondable" means when you clearly don't, because haphazardly checking the NO box automatically tells us that you have committed a criminal offence and WE WILL NOT HIRE YOU.
- "Detriment" is an adjective that describes a disadvantage, NOT something that describes why your responsibility and punctuality should make you a good tour leader.
- You "incur" something undesirable like debt, not leadership experience.
- Honestly, people (especially potential employers) notice typos, okay? There may not be an Appropriate Use of Vocabulary function nor a Grammar Guide that comes with your word processing software, but for the love of- use your spell-checker, please! There's nothing like a solid typo that makes us want to DQ a potentially good application.

Like previously mentioned: I am such a snob. I need help.
12:13 am