It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood

Yesterday at this time it was a downright blizzard outdoors and today the sun is out, the birds are chirping and it's plus three degrees. It's a wonder that anybody doesn't catch a cold from all these bipolar weather conditions.

I returned from my week away sick as a dog and covered in cat hair. I can't tell if I'm getting any better, but I don't think I'm getting worse. And that's comforting in some sense. The cat hair has since been washed out of my clothes.

It's pretty cool that I'm now qualified to lead tours in New York City. The Big Apple was pretty snazzy, but it was more work than fun. I walked the crap out of my feet, wore down the heels of a new pair of shoes, and had trouble standing up in the mornings. New York is like every other big city I've seen, but on crack. London was busy, but it bustled with a really nice vibe, a good energy. Beijing was busy, but that's because China has a sixth of the world's population. Manhattan was just... busy. Overwhlemingly so. But I did really enjoy the fact that there's cool food EVERYWHERE. I was also waiting for my time there to start feeling like an episode of Sex and the City. It never did.

I jumped right into my third last day at work yesterday, and by "jumped right into" I mean "slowly oozed out of bed at nine am (when I'm supposed to BE at work) and strolled in an hour late (as usual)". My contract officially ends tomorrow; I will be unemployed for the next few weeks and I will like it.

I also had an interview for a job I don't necessarily want, but will accept out of sheer desperation for employment and income because it happens to fall during a time in my life when all my plans have run out. I am looking forward to the tour season though. There's nothing like being paid to travel and living out of a suitcase again.

The paper from last week? Still not done. I don't know why I can't write it. It just won't DIE. The contract academic staff on campus have gone on strike, so it's giving me the semblance of extra time, even though I know it's still technically two weeks late.

I had a gruelling rehearsal for my play last night. I left with a wicked headache that was later cured by fresh air and organic nuts.

Today, I woke up decidedly feeling like a morning person and promised myself to try as hard as possible to live walking distance from my future job. I can still taste the goodness that was my BLT breakfast sandwich, the warmth and sweetness of my tea, and feel the sunshine on my face as I walked into work, mostly on time.
1:11 pm

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Middle Of The Ride

I'm currently finishing up running a computer camp for kids, and thinking about when to call my best girls to chat and tell them my boy stories, but I'm bombarded with thoughts on how to organize myself and various activities all into the next week because I've got birthdays to celebrate, nights out to dress up for, work to do (finally! but oy!) at work, an open house on campus to participate in, trips to Toronto and back and back, rehearsals and a cast dinner (not to mention a play to perform!), and a surprise trip to New York to work around - since I'm still taking a road trip to London and still have to see my dear English roomie from last term who is visiting from across the pond for a few weeks - and all the while I've had the mad finishing of a book and rapid writing of a paper on the back of my mind.

I feel like I'm on speed. Or crack. Or both! Smack! I'd say I'm stressed out (yeah, vaguely), but being busily efficient infuses me with such energy and zeal that I'm feeling pretty darn fabulous right now. I am SO glad, however, that I dropped my third job and that my life is flexible enough for me to miss work, classes, rehearsals, and random other commitments for me to do pretty much as my little heart desires. I really wouldn't be able to have it any other way.

And, oh! Total wonderful moment of my artistic LIFE? My director tells me that I'm a perfectly good actress on my own who is doing things great on my own, which is why she hasn't been giving me any notes during rehearsals because she's not worried about me at allll. Apparently I'm good without needing any direction. In the most non-hubris way possible, I'd like to bask in the familiarity of these comments because a director from a few years ago pretty much said the same thing. One day I may develop horrible neck pains from the weight of my giant head.

5:50 pm

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Don't Bring Me Down

A week ago I was all, "Oh dear, my grandmother is dying and I'm not really sure how I feel about it." Now, a week later, four days after she's passed, I'm still not really sure how I feel about it. I know that I'm okay, and that being away from home and family is helping with this nonchalantness. I feel so terribly insensitive because I'm going about my business as usual; the news isn't hanging over me as much as it's just sitting on the back burner. I'm going home this weekend for the funeral, etc., and I'm really quite bummed that I have to miss rehearsal, the Global Citizenship Conference, and the symphony concert(!) for it. This is going to be the only symphony concert this term too, and the last one that I get to see for free as a student! Drat. See what I mean? Do you need some more ice for your drink? Let's chip some off my heart.

I've got a mixed bag of emotions about this whole thing. First off, I'm not looking forward to being sad, and secondly, I'm not looking forward to seeing my relatives. This is my dad's side of the family, and though I like my daddy a lot, I never really liked his family. They treated (and still do treat) my mother poorly and she is an amazingly stand up woman around them. She has had the grace, level-headedness, and dignity to go about making funeral arrangements for a woman who never liked her while surrounded by relatives who rudely talk about her behind her back and sometimes in front of her face. My grandmother was indeed my grandmother, but it's hard to truly mourn for someone and a family who never liked you or the person who brought you into this world. So, as much as I am Ice Queen about it, I feel that's it's not exactly unreasonable. I certainly won't make a fuss, and I will be there to support my father; and though I will probably cry, I'm still not sure how I feel about this whole thing. It happened, that's all, really.

10:32 pm