Good Friends Part I

I have lovely friends. Especially Jackson, one of the most intriguing and wonderful people that I've ever had the pleasure to meet.

So early last week, I decide that I'm going to run for the WLU Senate, the academic governing body of the school, and do this place some good. But as of right now, it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to do this place any good, at least not through Senate. Yesterday evening, I checked my e-mail to discover that I got disqualified from the election just an hour before polls closed. I found out through e-mails because the people on the Elections Committee refused to tell me what was going on. How nice of them. The EC had found a bunch of posters with my name on them all over the school which violated all sorts of policy (we have a very strict poster policy here) which resulted in 4 fines which is over the 3 fine limit and ta-da, I'm no longer allowed to sit on Senate. Here's the rub: I didn't know about the posters. I didn't make them, approve them, nor did I put them up. I know it sounds hard to believe, and lots of people all over the school already don't believe me, which I hate by the by. But you know what? It's the truth. Jackson, being the lovely friend that he is, made posters for me to help me with my campaign and wanted to surprise me. He's nice. I'm nice. Leave us alone.

So to make a long story short, I got DQ'ed because someone did me a favour, wanted to surprise me and didn't let me know about it. I cannot for the life of me understand how they can hold me accountable for someone else's actions, someone who is not me. I know the posters broke policy, and I'm sorry, but Jackson doesn't know about crap like that. He doesn't like politics and stays away from it, maybe I should too. In conjunction with my experience in high school elections, this is enough to make me say I'm never running in another election again. I feel like I'm caught in the middle of this stupid teenage soap opera, where people are too caught up in power trips to care about others. And I know that there are rules to live and campaign by, but is there no compassion for an honest mistake? Is this what happens to people who are involved in politics for too long? You lose your soul? I thought that was a business thing. Ha ha. They just don't seem to believe in the good ol' doctrine, 'innocent before proven guilty'. Or as things have been going so far, they don't believe in innocence at all. It's not like I'm trying to put the blame on someone else, the people who are responsible for the posters have admitted to it, written letters and are willing to testify!

I'm tired. I spent more time than I should have trying to speak to people who wouldn't listen, writing appeals letters that may not be read, dealing with a situation I never thought I'd find myself in. I'm pretty docile, I don't get into the middle of messes like this. But you know what, I may be in 1st year, I may the underdog, easy prey, whatever, but I'm not taking this sitting down. I have people who support me, are willing to go on hunger strikes for me, willing to make lots of noise, create lots of stink, I have the truth behind me. These big scary people can be mean, make me cry and say nasty things on open forums, but I am going to fight the good fight. I may not win, but it's the principle that matters! And after this, no more politics.

"A law that has the potential to convict a person who has not really done anything wrong offends the principles of fundamental justice..."

2:46 am

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Bottle Baby Deaths

It's been a little crazy recently, what with my dozen applications for various postions on campus for next year and with Senate elections. I was a bit hesitant to run at first, but this election is a bit more low key as opposed to the highly anticipated Board of Directors elections, and thank goodness (!) no open forum, for I would have cried.

As of last night, I have decided that I am going to officially boycott Nestle products. We had a lecture on Corporate Evil in Evil & Its Symbols class and I was surprised to hear about this worldwide boycott that has been taking place since the late 70s and early 80s. It seems that Nestle has breached many of the World Health Organization's International Codes of Marketing Breastmilk Substitutes, and as a result, many mothers in developing countries are using these products even though they can barely afford these things, and can't read the instructions and warnings (many of the containers only have English on them). Babies are suffering from diarrhea, malnourishment and infant mortality rates are disgusting. Mother's milk is best for babies! It's not only for mothers who wish to breastfeed, this is about unethical business practices! This is why I wanted to get out of the program in the first place. Then again, part of me wishes that I could stay in and reform everything.

Check out Baby Milk Action, Breastfeeding.com, Wears The Baby and Gentle Parenting for more details. There is so much information out there that you could visit a million sites about this issue, just type "nestle boycott" into Google and join me and tons of others in the boycott!

9:21 pm

Saturday, March 20, 2004

*blush*

Cool! I'm nominated for my first web award ever! ClubLaurier is an online forum for WLU students (well, it's much more than that) and it's time for the 2nd Annual ClubLaurier Awards!

I'm not sure what "Best Bloggosphere Blog" means, but I'm still uber estatic that I'm nominated! Next it'll be the Bloggies. Go and vote for me!

9:12 pm

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Confirm Program

You have successfully confirmed your program.

1. If you wish to exit, click EXIT in the upper right corner of this screen.

2. If you wish to return to the Registration Menu, click Back to Registration Menu.

You are now confirmed in:
Honours Sociology With Admin Option
Full-Time Year 2

***
Yeah. Last year, I was worrying about the balls of my feet and John Mayer. This year, I've completely changed...something.

11:34 am

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Change Program

1. Fill in the boxes with the Faculty, Degree, Majors and/or Options that comprise your new program.

2. If you have specified your new program, click Validate Program to check if it is valid.

3. If you wish to reset all the boxes back to your current majors and/or options, click Reset.

4. If you wish to exit without changing or confirming your program, click EXIT in the upper right corner of this screen.

Faculty: Arts
Degree: Bachelor of Arts
First Major: Honours Sociology
Second Major: Administration Option

***
I'm almost there. All I have to do is click on Validate Program. Or I could just click EXIT and get the hell out of here.

Do those words look like they belong beside my name? Arts? Really?

10:27 am

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Display Current Program

Your current program is displayed below.

1. If your program is correct and you wish to continue in it, click Confirm Current Program.

2. If you wish to change your program, click Change Program.

3. If you wish to exit without confirming or changing your program, click EXIT in the upper right corner of this screen.

Current Program:
Honours Business Administration
Full-Time Year 2

***
Just 2 seconds ago I had decided that I was going to major in Sociology, minor in Business, take some cool electives and work for a charity organization after I do some travelling and maybe pursue grad school.

I'm sitting here with my mouse in hand....and can't decide which button to click. Why can't I do this?

1:58 pm

Monday, March 15, 2004

Is This Why Mondays Suck?

I have a UTI. Again. I feel like I'm 2 years old and can't control myself. Being 19 years old, and having had previous control over my bladder, this really sucks.

So off to the pharmacy I go, prescription in hand. I'm sorry, did I not introduce myself? Hello, my name is Shirley and I live in the land of FREE HEALTHCARE!!! So would someone please explain to me why in the world I am not covered by BOTH of my parents' health plans?! Freaking Ontario and their stupid Sunlife insurance company. You've given me trouble before, so I whipped out the debit to pay you in full and sent in all my student ID to prove to you that I am indeed a full-freaking-time student twice(!) and STILL, you don't have me on record as a STUDENT despite the sending of my STUDENT ID TWICE???

How can I not be registered as a student when I sent my info in during Reading Week just a month ago? I went through a very long and VERY arduous process to get my status changed to 'Student' when I FIRST turned 19 and had my coverage cancelled for the FIRST time. WHY am I not covered AGAIN?!! These freaking PEOPLE and their STUPID SYSTEM! I turned 19 ONCE and changed my status then! I had to go to my guidance office and get them to write a letter, and seal it and do a bunch of crap and then off it went to my mother who had to hand it in to the mean receptionist lady at the front desk becuase they wouldn't let her inside just to deliver a letter and THEN I had to wait 2 WEEKS for it to go through because they were obviously too busy to change the letters from ADULT to STUDENT so I could get my meds without paying an arm and a leg and remain ILLNESS FREE. I mean, these PEOPLE (becuase if they were animals doing this to me I would understand a bit more), do they really want me to keep my urinary tract infected and ruin my life in the process or do they want me to become poorer than poor by paying full price for these pills when I SHOULD be covered because we live in ONTARIO land of free health care and thus ruin my life as well? So now I have to find some 1-800 number to call and complain. Thank goodness the people at the pharmacy were nice otherwise I might've cried.

*enter huge exasperated SIGH here*

To make matters worse, the chai tea I got at the cafeteria this morning was terrible.

4:47 pm

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Bouncy Mood

It was absolutely beautiful today, and as Jason and I headed to the bus stop (him walking, I skipping), I asked him, "Why walk when you can bounce?" It was one of my happier moments. I wish I could be like that everyday.

We went to see Fashion 'n' Motion, a "high energy dance and fashion show, which incroporates fashion, dancing, acting, modeling..." basically, it's a show full of pretty people flaunting their stuff. There were a few exceptions, but they got snickered at. I'm not so cynical and bitter that I thought the whole thing was a farce or anything, I actually thought that the show was rather impressive. The choreography, though out of sync cometimes, was good and the dancing reminded me that some people are thin because of their talent, not because of a disorder. Overall, the show was quite enjoyable and very high energy and had me tapping my toe and bobbing my head and dancing in my chair. I wish I had the skill or looks to be accepted by these people, because what they do looks like an awful lot of fun. I fancy pretty much anything on stage.

Spontaneously, and because I did not want to go home (by home I mean residence), we decided to go to the mall and forego some of our responsibilities to work and other things. I whipped out my camera and documented our trip off campus much to my love's chagrin. I spent $30 on CDs and had a heart-attack-in-a-tub (poutine) for lunch. It's funny to notice how I can miss the mall if I haven't been there in a while.

7:05 pm

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

You Want Me To Talk About My 'Down There'?

My bout of acting here at WLU has ended for the year. Last night was the closing show for The Vagina Monologues and I miss the stage already, though I doubt I can memorize anymore lines; I have to save some space for exams and other such things. The word 'vagina' used to be so taboo, and it probably still is, but not to me. Since being involved in the monologues, I have become so comfortable with the word that I say it all the time. Vagina this, vagina that, vagina the other thing. Vagina vagina vagina! Every time I bring up the show and how much I loved it, because it was a group of women who sat around and talked about their vaginas for hours, people look at me like I'm crazy. Their eyes bulge a bit and their face goes forward in that what-did-you-just-say? way. Oh, what's the big deal anyway? It's just a word.

Speaking of words, one of my monologues was called Reclaiming Cunt. Imagine me throwing that word around all the time. I was asked by some of the girls who saw the performance to do that monologue again for some guys who missed the show. So there I was, on the guys' floor in the hall making orgasmic sounds and chanting the word CUNT! over and over. The looks on the faces of the guys who poked their heads out of their rooms was precious.

I have the monologue in video form, so hopefully I can post it here (soon-ish) for those who are interested in seeing this side of me. Click here to learn more about the Vagina Monologues and V-Day.

Happy International Women's Week!

"Pussies unite!"
(one of my favourite lines from the show)

11:46 am

Friday, March 05, 2004

Pathetic Fallacy

It's been raining here the past few days and it seems to have put a damper on my mood. Well, combine non-stop rehearsals for Vagina Monologues, an economics test worth 28%, and putting together a presentation/workshop for this weekend, and you have a pretty tired Shirley. And throughout it all, I couldn't keep my mind off the letter. This wasn't just any letter, it was the letter that would determine a large portion of my life here on campus next year. To Don or not to Don.

I walked over in the pouring rain without an umbrella, got the letter and was too nervous to open it. I walked all the way back to the front door of my residence and stood there. In the rain, without an umbrella, clutching the letter. The envelope was thoroughly soaked and so was I. I rip it open, fumble, and it falls to the ground. Whoops. That can't be a good thing.

And it wasn't.

So it seems that although the selection committee was very impressed by my application and interview, it is with regeret that they are unable to offer me a position as a Residence Life Don at this time. They do, however, ask that I please consider re-applying for the 2005-2006 academic year and encuorage me to take this opportunity to participate in other areas of Laurier Campus Life. And finally, they thank me. For my interest, for my time and effort. Best of luck.

My tears found companionship with the rain drops as they ran down my face. I stood in the shower for a long time just wondering, what does the world want from me? What is rejection supposed to teach? My confidence and self esteem have taken another beating. I have ceased to understand. Why did everyone say that I was a shoo-in? Why did I seem to be a 'for sure', a guaranteed? What is it about me that makes people think I can do anything, when really, I can't?

Well. I have a test today, a workshop to prepare, and my mother to call. None of which I am ready for. Speaking of not being ready, I have to look for a house now? Find people to live with? I am the only person on my floor that is house-less right now. I wonder if that Don-reject house pact still holds. I really have no time to mull over this right now, so disappointment aside, I have to remember what I wrote here five days ago:

I've subscribed to a new sort of fatalism recently, and though I don't necessarily believe that everything is predetermined, I do seem to increasingly believe that there are reasons for the way that things turn out. I've always said that all you can do is your best, and then just keep your fingers crossed after that. The hardest part is accepting the fact that if the outcome is not what you wanted, there still is a reason for it.

10:03 am

Thursday, March 04, 2004

I Really Should Be Studying Economics...

...but I just had to tell you.

It's been a few days since Fringe Festival and I'm still getting compliments on my monologue, which is very nice, and quite surprising. My parents have never really supported my interest in acting and theater, so all my plays have been, and still are, done in secret. Though I did quite a bit of acting in high school, at least one play a year (and I had the lead role in two of them), I never really thought I was that good of an actress. I was indeed my own worst critic. I just thought I had a lot more learning to do. Today, our student newspaper published reviews of all the plays in Fringe and much to my surprise, I came across this:

To Live at Laurier
directed by Shane Fallofield

The five-act monologues surrounding representations of life at Laurier had both their good and bad moments.

Shirley Manh stood out by far with a fantastically hilarious role in Christopher Durang's "Laughing Wild". Manh played a woman complaining about waiting behind someone to grab tuna fish at the grocery store. She showed so much emotion and liveliness that I could have watched her perform all night.

I couldn't believe it. My name was in the paper, and they liked what they saw! Even now, after I've read, re-read, highlighted, cut out and tacked the article up on my bulletin board, I still get nervous thinking about my performance. Combined with my award for Best Actress and various random nice comments, this has been the most positive attention I have ever received for my acting. And it feels really good.

1:04 am

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

The Arts

FR!NGE Festival was great. I'm still recovering from the exhaustion of a full week of non-stop rehearsals and performances, but it all went well. The best part is hearing from strangers that they liked what I did. Fringe Fest also hosted their own Oscars on Sunday night (which I think is a really cute idea), and people liked what I did so much that I was nominated for Best Monologue and awarded Best Actress! I never thought I'd get an award for my acting, never mind an Oscar! It's the best statuette I've ever seen: a lightbulb painted neon orange hot glued to the top of a fence post. I'll cherish it forever.

The Vagina Monologues are coming! So the rehearsals aren't ending yet (these ones start at 10pm and go until at least 12am), and I still have two more performances to go (each at least 2 hours long), but they will be great!

***
The annual student and staff exhibition at the art gallery is coming up soon and I've been thinking about submitting a piece or two. I haven't painted or drawn in about 2 years so I am a bit nervous about 'creating art' again. Too bad I left my old sketchbook at home.

There was a frame and mat sale at the gallery last week and for only $18.50 I got two great, simple black frames that I can do whatever with and a whole bunch of mat board and frames. The best part about them is that they're dirt cheap and can be painted on. Who needs canvas? I didn't leave myself enough time to go back to residence and drop them off, so I ended up carrying them to my business lecture. I saw people look and could see the wheels turning in their selfish, greedy heads. "What are those things? And WHY is she carrying them? She must not be a business student. *gasp* She's going into the lecture hall! Stop her! We have an imposter!"

An Arts mind trapped in the body of a business student.

It seems to me that there's so much more room for growth in the Arts. While the Business Program focuses on the future and how you can get there, the entire Arts faculty focuses on the now and how you can be a better person now. Though not looking into the future may be a shortcoming to some, I see it as room to grow and figure yourself out before you head out there into the real world. Business is all about getting through now as fast as you can so you can grow up and get a good job as a CEO. And what if I like now? What if I want to stay here in the now for a while and learn something? I want to fiddle around the university, learn about the world and grow up just a bit more before I have to go out there. Am I hiding from the world? I'd like to think not. I've just come to realize that I'm still young and there's still time, is all.

1:21 am